Chloe's Daddy

Words from my sweet husband and Chloe's daddy....



Talked to a dear lady who was unable to have children. Though her doctor suggested adoption, she said that she could not do it. She stated that she did not feel that she could love an adopted child "like her own child."


I do not fault her for thinking this way as I have heard this before. Honestly, if she felt this way then it would actually be best that she not adopt. As an older widowed lady, I sense that she might have regretted her decision.

Let me present ...my story briefly if I may. I had been married before and am blessed with two biological daughters. I love Hannah and Lauren more than can be expressed in a small fb post. I would die for them! I remember praying for them while in the womb. I have always been there for them as much as I could even after the divorce from their mother. They are great!

After marrying Kim, we found the house to be a bit empty. I had told her prior to marriage that I probably would not want any more kids. She was OK with that as she most of all "wanted a good man and husband." That part could be debated. Haha. I knew I might want to be a father again, but did not know if we could afford it and did not want to get her hopes up. Also, I might mention that I had been neutered.

As time passed, we both prayerfully approached the idea of adoption. We almost did it once, but then rested the idea. The Lord brought the idea back and led us once again into the uncharted territory of adoption. We accepted and pressed forward. We knew NOTHING about this! We (Kim mostly) got on the ball and got things rolling.

For 16 months we spent money. We had home studies. We got background checks. We answered invasive and intrusive questions. We got fingerprints. We shared financial records. We even had to change plumbing issues as required for adoption. We jumped through every hoop requested and then some. We wanted our daughter!

All the while, we always wondered if we would really get her. Will this really happen? Kim wanted to be a first time mother and I wanted to be a full-time father. We held to the verse in James 1:27, "Pure and undefiled religion is this, to care for widows and orphans." We forfeited the desire to bring another kid (our "own" child) into this crazy world and replaced it with the desire to grant a kid a chance who is already in this crazy world. This was our heartbeat.

The Lord gave us Chloe. I will forget part of the details as time passes, but some details and memories I will hold dear until my last breath. I will never forget watching Kim hold her for the first time and crying while I held the video camera (that died by the way). I won't forget some of the first days. I shall never forget the bus ride from a govt office back to the hotel while Kim and Chloe boo-hooed for different reasons all the way back to the hotel. We had ice cream together while Kim showered. We held her while she cried and cried and cried and cried! We fumbled through figuring out how to handle this new child from a different culture. I can't forget the initial greeting by grandmothers, aunt, cousin and Hannah and Lauren at the airport. I remember finally making it back home with the new addition. Many details are so vivid.

....Now, do I love her as much as my "real kids?" ABSOLUTELY! I love all three girls the same. Each has a unique story, but the amount of love is equal. Kim had a 16 month "pregnancy" versus the nine month pregnancy of the two older girls. I love them all three. So, if considering adoption, let me say that love is the same for all. I would die for any of them tomorrow. She is "my own child!"