As I was working on chores around the house this morning my mind kept coming back to how quickly time is slipping through my hands. Chloe was playing around the house going from one room to the other, playing with her barbies, actually giving them all free haircuts. She will be starting to kindergarten in just two and a half short months. I should be happy right? So why the watery eyes and eventual tears?
A lot of parents are happy when their children start to school. I guess they look at it like, ahhhh freedom at last. More "me" time. Well not me! Time is dragging me along. I would kick and scream if I thought it would do any good. I'm trying to grab anything to hold on to, anything to stop it.
After deciding homeschooling was not going to work for us, we have made the prayerful decision to put her in a private school. There are many reasons why I love this school. Chloe actually had to be interviewed to be accepted. It's difficult to even "get in". Ben and I left her for several hours in the classroom with the teacher and other current kindergartners. We have visited numerous times and I feel really comfortable with where she will be everyday. One class per grade is ideal for her and for us. It's website boasts of 26,000 acres being the "ultimate outdoor classroom". After talking in depth to her upcoming kindergarten teacher and other parents from this school I am confident it's a well protected environment. She is already insisting on riding the school bus that first day. Thankfully the bus only travels on the campus, no public streets. She is so excited. She will excel in school, I know. She is ready. It's me that's not.
I have been telling Ben, it just doesn't seem right to me. We prayed and waited so long for her, she's been here with me or her two grandmothers since day one. Now, all of a sudden for the next 13 plus years she will be gone five days a week from 8am until 3pm. Am I the only parent who thinks this?
Perhaps it's just me not wanting to let go of her. I don't know. Ben says I'm going through what every "good" mother goes through. I can't imagine any mother NOT feeling this way. How can parents everyday just put their children on school buses and not have a concern in the world about where their child is going. Some parents never even visit the school beforehand. How in the world can a parent do that?
One thing is certain, in August, I will be on my knees in prayer a lot. My time with her here has been oh so sweet. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I just wish it would last a little bit longer....
"Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord..." Psalm 127:3
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